Elbow Tree

  • Home
  • Our Team
    • Join Our Team
  • Our Story
    • Our Story
    • Our Endorsements
    • Our Locations
    • Our Offices
    • Our Allies
    • Third Spaces
    • Our Collection
  • Our Approach
    • Christian Counseling
    • Spiritual Direction
    • EMDR
    • Our Offerings
    • FAQ
  • Our Voice
  • Nuts & Bolts
    • Our Pricing
    • Our Communication Security
    • Contact Us
    • Counselor Login
  • Home
  • Our Team
    • Join Our Team
  • Our Story
    • Our Story
    • Our Endorsements
    • Our Locations
    • Our Offices
    • Our Allies
    • Third Spaces
    • Our Collection
  • Our Approach
    • Christian Counseling
    • Spiritual Direction
    • EMDR
    • Our Offerings
    • FAQ
  • Our Voice
  • Nuts & Bolts
    • Our Pricing
    • Our Communication Security
    • Contact Us
    • Counselor Login

BLOG

Reflections for the inner life.

The Only Way Out is Through

10/1/2024

0 Comments

 
Picture
Photo by John Middelkoop
Have you been as glued to post Hurricane Helene news like I have as pictures and videos surface from areas impacted in the big bend in Florida and western North Carolina?

​My parents live on an old family farm in Shady Grove, Florida in Taylor County where three major hurricanes have come ashore in less than thirteen months. To understand the enormity of this is to also know a hurricane has not come directly ashore in Taylor County since 1935. This recent quiver of storms have left communities around them (and their own) devastated. Rest assured, this is no temporary power outage. Hurricane Helene buried and obliterated entire coastal communities. 

​Further north in western North Carolina, we are witnessing real time damage due to flooding with landslides on a level that we've not witnessed in my lifetime. Roads, bridges, houses, cars, 18-wheelers are all being washed away as the river banks overflow into downtown areas of those beloved and quaint mountain towns we all love. Black bears are hiding up high in the tree line and horses are swimming for their very lives. Photos and videos from that region are limited due to a total lack of cell or internet service. Entire communities are being displaced and devastated. Thriving businesses are being ruined. Homes and family heirlooms have been lost for good. Overnight, our favorite North Carolina mountain refuges have been filled with displaced muddy mountain refugees.

This is no nightmare that can be cured by simply opening our eyes.  Our neighbors to the west and north are living a nightmare with their eyes wide open and they need help digging out from the mud and splinters of former structures that now litter their rivers and streams. There is no easy way out of this mess. 

When we are faced with a storm that feels like it will erode the coast lines or river banks of our lives, it is normal and natural to want an easier and less painful way. If you find yourself in this latest storm or one that is threatening the status quo in your world, take heart. There may not be a shortcut to abbreviate or avoid the pain but you are not alone. 

A rabbi on social media reminded me this morning, "The only way out is through." A friend of mine, Keith Case has been preaching his way through Exodus and I've been tracking along. Big takeaway? There is no bypassing pain. 

I sent Keith this message earlier today;

"I was thinking about Moses...he didn't go around that Red Sea. He had to go through it. 

I was thinking about Jesus...he didn't go around Samaria. He went right through it. 

​I was thinking about me. I did not go around that hard thing last year. I went right through.

Shadrach, Meshach and Abendigo. Same thing!" 


Keith's response was as I'd expect;

"The journey is from the darkness of slavery to life in the desert where our coping mechanisms get exposed. If you want to get close to your kids (or people in general) you have to learn to get close to your pain. How do we know this to be a reality? We see it modeled in the life of Jesus. He gets close to ours and invites us to get close to his." 

Jesus names his resistance to the hard path of the cross (Matt. 26).   


"Going a little ahead, Jesus fell on his face, praying, “My Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do YOU want?”

A little while later Jesus declares, "Father, if there is no other way than this, drinking this cup to the dregs, I’m ready. Do it your way.”

Jesus reveals the seductive nature of bypassing pain. And since we all know the rest of his story, we can find even greater solidarity in our temptation to take the beltway around our pain. 

Jesus invites us to take the hard path. Through. Not around. 
Jesus does us a solid and he shoots us super straight. 

"In this world there will be trouble." 


How can we enter into our own pain and into the pain of others? 
  • We can invite another person to know we are afraid.  
  • We can be ruthlessly honest by naming our resistance. 
  • We can be brave and take the first step. 
  • We can be brave again and take the second step.
  • We can breathe through it.
  • ​We can listen through it. 
  • We can take radical ownership of our own painful story.
  • We can vulnerably admit when we are pain.
  • We can show up.
  • We can show up...again and again...and again. ​

What will it look like for you to roll up your sleeves and risk getting some of the pain of that western North Carolina mud on you?

​Take courage. Be brave. You are not alone. 


ACTION & PRAYERS: 
Elbow Tree is preparing to send a small advanced team to storm impacted areas with an expressed intent to offer care to first responders and caregivers in the surrounding communities. Stay tuned!
0 Comments

Down Inside Yourself

9/16/2024

0 Comments

 
Picture
Do you ever sink "down inside yourself?" Boy, I sure do. All kinds of experiences, hard and wonderful, can trigger heavy feelings of sadness, grief and loss. We most often associate painful experiences as a trigger for our sorrows. However, having a positive experience of deep connection with a friend or loved one triggers elation while you are together and can also serve to intensify our sadness on the tail end when a special time together comes to a temporary or permanent conclusion. 

Singer and songwriter, David Wilcox, first coined this phrase for me. This describes very well what it can feel like for us when these feelings are deeply affecting us. To be down inside yourself can mean that you are devoting some much needed and overdue attention to your inner life. It can also mean that big unexpected feelings have surfaced and you are feeling pulled under by the weight of them. 

David Wilcox has a talent for skillfully articulating deeper rhythms and experiences of the inner life. He would readily share that his guitar has been a tool for him to explore and excavate the inner rumblings of his own heart and soul. We need tools, like a guitar, to help us attend to our inner life. As my friend Alex shares often, "we need to feel felt."

These lines in "Down Inside Yourself" resonate with me and I am able to connect with them...and I begin to feel felt. 


"Help me shake this nightmare
The funk has found my heart
I need to move my spirit
But I don't know where to start
I need to fill this empty
But I can't find the missing part
I'm just down inside myself"


Music and Art can be such helpful tools for helping us access our hearts and to illuminate our own experience. The artist brings their inner experience to the surface and gives us the opportunity to find solidarity with what is an innately human experience.  

At our core, though, we desperately need others, and sometimes very specific others, who can listen and be curious with us. To share about being "down inside myself" is awfully risky because we step out into vulnerability and invite another person to see and hear us. Shame, at least the toxic brand, tells us to remain in secrecy, silence and maybe even judgement. 

​Let's resist the temptation to isolate by leaning into vulnerability which inevitably can lead to connection. Maybe we need to connect more intentionally with our partner or spouse, or reach out to a trusted friend. In many cases, it might be helpful to sit with a trained professional who can offer us non-anxious space to explore our inner life while offering us their curious, warm and empathic attention. 

Let's listen to David's song below and continue reading on...
Here are some common obstacles people face when scheduling their first counseling appointment to attend to their inner lives. 
​
  1. Stigma Around Mental Health: Fear of judgment or feeling weak often prevents people from seeking help. Societal or cultural norms may discourage therapy.
  2. Financial Concerns: Counseling can be expensive, and not everyone has insurance or the financial means to afford it. High costs deter many from scheduling an appointment.
  3. Uncertainty About the Process: Many people feel overwhelmed because they don’t know what to expect in therapy, which leads to hesitation.
  4. Time Constraints: Busy schedules or conflicting commitments (e.g., work, family) make it hard to find time for regular sessions.
  5. Fear of Vulnerability: Opening up about personal issues can be intimidating. People often worry about being judged or feeling exposed.
  6. Difficulty Finding the Right Therapist: It can take time to find a therapist that feels like a good fit. This process can be daunting, leading some to give up before even starting.
  7. Belief That Problems Aren't "Serious Enough": Some people downplay their struggles, believing they should be able to handle them on their own, or that their issues aren’t “big enough” for therapy.
  8. Lack of Immediate Results: People may be discouraged by the realization that therapy takes time, and they might hesitate to invest in something that doesn’t offer quick fixes.
  9. Accessibility: Geographic location or lack of transportation can be barriers for those in rural areas or without easy access to counseling services.
  10. Fear of Change: Therapy often brings about personal growth and change, which can be scary. People may fear confronting uncomfortable truths or making significant life adjustments.

These factors can combine to make the first step of scheduling a therapy appointment feel like a significant hurdle for many.

​May you take notice of when you are "down inside yourself" and offer yourself the gift of feeling felt. Reach out and connect to someone. If we can help you get connected to a counselor at Elbow Tree who will offer you this kind of helpful space, don't hesitate to reach out. 
​
​Turn here. You are worth it!

The best email to use when attempting to schedule with an Elbow Tree counselor is [email protected]. 
0 Comments

The Gift of Ted Lasso and a Dear Friend

9/7/2024

0 Comments

 
Picture
to listen, click here
by Hayne Steen, LMHC
Ted Lasso is a heartwarming, feel-good comedy-drama series centered around an optimistic American football coach, Ted Lasso, who is hired to coach an English soccer team despite having no experience with the sport. Played by Jason Sudeikis, Ted’s unwavering positivity, kindness, and belief in the power of teamwork and human connection stand in stark contrast to the cynicism and competitiveness of the world around him. Throughout the series, Ted faces personal challenges, but his empathy and emotional intelligence bring out the best in those around him, creating a story that blends humor, sports, and deeper reflections on vulnerability, leadership, and mental health. 

This bar scene is my 
favorite...I bet it will stir something in you too! I have probably referenced this specific scene with over a hundred clients, both individuals and couples. 

Watch this scene and continue reading on below...
​When the Apple television series, Ted Lasso, dropped in 2020, I truthfully could not get enough of this brilliant new show. To say I was obsessed would be an understatement. I watched the first two seasons at least four times. As you may recall. we were all home in 2020 due to COVID and the world truly needed show like this one. 

To be honest, I STILL need a show like this one! Little did I know how much in common I would soon have with the show's main character, Ted. 


Ted Lasso's divorce is a poignant and emotional subplot in the series, highlighting his vulnerability beneath his usual optimism and humor. As his marriage deteriorates, Ted struggles to reconcile his desire to keep his family together with the reality that his wife is no longer happy. Despite his deep love for her and their son, Ted ultimately agrees to the divorce, prioritizing his wife's emotional well-being over his own wishes. This decision leaves him grappling with feelings of loss, loneliness, and self-doubt, yet he continues to display remarkable resilience and grace, using his personal pain as a way to empathize more deeply with others. The divorce reveals Ted’s complexity, making him more relatable as he faces heartache while maintaining his trademark kindness and positivity.

In Ted Lasso, the sports psychologist, Dr. Sharon Fieldstone, is introduced as a composed, insightful, and highly professional figure who initially contrasts Ted’s bubbly, open-hearted personality. Played by Sarah Niles, Dr. Sharon is brought in to help the AFC Richmond players with their mental health and performance issues. She quickly gains the players' trust with her direct, empathetic approach, helping them address personal challenges and emotional barriers that impact their game.

At first, Ted is skeptical and even resistant to her methods, feeling threatened by her ability to connect with his team in ways he hasn’t. However, over time, Dr. Sharon helps Ted confront his own deeper emotional struggles, including his anxiety and unresolved issues from his divorce. Her presence and work with Ted highlight the importance of mental health and self-awareness, providing a more nuanced view of emotional support that balances Ted’s positivity with introspection and healing.

In the early part of 2023, as I was navigating the reality of my own divorce, two friends who had each experienced the pain of divorce, pointed me to two books. The first book was When the Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd. I read that book every day in the first few weeks of my new journey. 

The first book, When the Heart Waits, by Sue Monk Kidd is a reflective and deeply spiritual book about navigating times of uncertainty, loss, and personal transformation. For a man going through a divorce, this book offered profound insights into the pain of waiting during periods of transition. Kidd draws parallels between life’s difficulties and the natural process of spiritual growth, likening it to the transformation of a cocoon into a butterfly. She emphasizes that in times of heartache, such as a divorce, it is essential to embrace the waiting period, allowing space for deep reflection and healing rather than rushing to fill the void. Kidd encourages patience and faith, suggesting that the struggles of life are opportunities for personal growth, and ultimately, transformation. For a man facing the end of his marriage, the book served as a gentle guide for rediscovering himself and finding hope amid uncertainty

The second book recommended was The Middle Passage - From Misery to Meaning in Midlife by James Hollis. My friend also shared that this book had made a debut on the show Ted Lasso. It was shown on the desk of aforementioned, Dr. Sharon Fieldstone.

​Ted took time to read The Middle Passage...so did I.  

Fear of our own depths is the enemy. –James Hollis
Author of The Middle Passage - From Misery to Meaning in Midlife
Picture
The Middle Passage: From Misery to Meaning in Midlife by James Hollis is a psychological exploration of the transition many people experience in midlife. For someone who has recently divorced, this book offers profound insights into the personal transformation that often accompanies life’s major upheavals, like the end of a marriage.
​

Hollis describes the "middle passage" as a period of deep soul-searching that often arises when the structures of one's life—career, relationships, identity—begin to break down. Divorce, in this context, can be a catalyst for confronting long-buried aspects of the self and uncovering new meaning in life.

Key insights from The Middle Passage for someone who has recently divorced include:


  • Confronting the False Self: Many people enter marriage carrying unconscious expectations or trying to fulfill roles that aren’t true to their authentic self. Divorce can force a person to confront these false identities, and while painful, this confrontation can lead to greater self-awareness.

  • The Call to Individuation: Hollis draws heavily on Carl Jung’s concept of individuation, which is the process of becoming one’s true self. After divorce, a person may feel lost or unsure of who they are outside of the marriage. This book encourages using this time as an opportunity to discover deeper, more meaningful aspects of oneself.

  • Facing Unfinished Business: Divorce often brings to the surface unresolved emotional issues or patterns from earlier in life. The Middle Passage helps readers understand how these unresolved issues may have influenced their relationship and how they can address them moving forward.

  • Transforming Suffering into Meaning: Hollis suggests that the pain of midlife transitions, including divorce, can lead to a more conscious and fulfilling life. Instead of avoiding pain, he encourages embracing it as part of the growth process, finding meaning in the suffering to foster personal transformation.

  • Freedom and Responsibility: With the end of a marriage comes both the freedom to redefine one’s life and the responsibility to face the consequences of past choices. The book emphasizes that the future, though uncertain, holds the potential for new purpose and personal growth if one is willing to engage with the discomfort of change.

In essence, The Middle Passage offers a roadmap for navigating the emotional and psychological challenges of midlife transitions like divorce. It encourages readers to confront their inner selves, let go of outdated patterns, and embrace the journey toward a more authentic and meaningful life.

If Ted Lasso were to interact with The Middle Passage by James Hollis, it would likely be a profound and transformative experience for him. Ted, known for his unrelenting optimism, would find in Hollis’s exploration of midlife crises and personal growth a mirror to his own journey through divorce and emotional turmoil. Hollis’s emphasis on confronting the "false self" and embracing individuation would resonate with Ted, who often uses humor and positivity as a defense mechanism.

As Ted delves into the book, he might reflect on how his persona as a "relentlessly positive coach" has, at times, masked his deeper feelings of inadequacy and unresolved pain. The Middle Passage could help him recognize the importance of facing his own vulnerability rather than simply being the emotional anchor for others. This new understanding would encourage Ted to balance his outward kindness with an inward journey of self-discovery, allowing him to transform his suffering into meaningful personal growth—much like Hollis advocates for those navigating life’s difficult transitions. 

We all need helpful resources when we are going through an experience as devastating and disorienting as a divorce. Even more than a good book, we need good friends who are willing to enter into the mess with us and listen. 

Even more, we all need soulful relationships with people who are curious, not judgmental. May you find this to be true for you too!

Picture
Picture
0 Comments

The Significance of "Hold Me Tight" and How It Can Help Married Couples

8/29/2024

0 Comments

 
Picture
In the realm of relationship books, Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Dr. Sue Johnson stands out as a beacon of hope and understanding for married couples. Drawing from decades of research and clinical practice, Dr. Johnson offers a groundbreaking approach to fostering deep, secure, and lasting bonds in romantic relationships. But what makes this book so significant, and how can it truly help married couples?

The Science Behind Love and AttachmentAt the core of Hold Me Tight is Dr. Johnson's Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a method grounded in the science of attachment theory. EFT posits that human beings are wired for connection, and the quality of our relationships significantly impacts our emotional and psychological well-being. For married couples, this connection is paramount. When bonds are strong and secure, couples thrive; when they’re weak or frayed, the relationship suffers.

Dr. Johnson emphasizes that many relationship issues stem not from surface-level conflicts but from deeper, unmet emotional needs. Couples often get caught in negative patterns of interaction, known as "demon dialogues," that leave both partners feeling isolated, misunderstood, or unloved. Hold Me Tight aims to break these cycles by helping couples recognize and address these underlying emotional needs.

The Power of Seven Conversations

The book is structured around seven transformative conversations that Dr. Johnson believes are essential for building and maintaining a strong, loving relationship:
  1. Recognizing the Demon Dialogues: Identifying the destructive patterns that sabotage intimacy.
  2. Finding the Raw Spots: Understanding the emotional triggers that cause pain and disconnection.
  3. Revisiting a Rocky Moment: Learning how to discuss past conflicts in a way that heals rather than harms.
  4. Hold Me Tight: Creating a secure bond through open, vulnerable communication.
  5. Forgiving Injuries: Addressing past hurts and rebuilding trust.
  6. Bonding Through Sex and Touch: Enhancing physical intimacy to reinforce emotional connection.
  7. Keeping Your Love Alive: Maintaining the bond over time through continued emotional engagement.
Each conversation is designed to help couples move from disconnection to connection, from conflict to comfort. Through these dialogues, partners can learn to express their needs and fears openly, respond to each other with empathy and care, and ultimately strengthen their emotional bond.

Practical and Accessible Guidance

One of the reasons Hold Me Tight is so impactful is its accessibility. Dr. Johnson presents complex psychological concepts in a way that is easy to understand and apply in everyday life. The book is filled with real-life examples, practical exercises, and clear, step-by-step instructions that couples can follow together.
​
For many, the exercises in Hold Me Tight provide a safe and structured way to explore difficult emotions and experiences. The book encourages couples to slow down, listen to each other, and connect on a deeper level. This process can be both healing and empowering, as it enables partners to see each other not as adversaries but as allies in the pursuit of a loving, secure relationship.

Transforming Relationships

The significance of Hold Me Tight lies in its ability to transform relationships. Couples who have struggled with chronic conflict, emotional distance, or a lack of intimacy often find new hope and direction through Dr. Johnson's approach. By fostering a deeper understanding of each other’s emotional needs and learning to respond with empathy and compassion, couples can create a bond that is not only resilient but also deeply fulfilling.

A Lifelong Resource

While Hold Me Tight is often used by couples in therapy, it is equally valuable as a self-help resource for any couple looking to improve their relationship. The skills and insights gained from the book can be revisited and reinforced over time, making it a lifelong resource for maintaining a strong and loving marriage.
​
In conclusion, Hold Me Tight is a vital tool for any married couple seeking to deepen their connection and build a more secure, loving relationship. With its evidence-based approach and practical guidance, Dr. Sue Johnson’s book has the power to heal, strengthen, and transform relationships, making it an essential read for couples at any stage of their journey together.
0 Comments

What are some "fair fight rules" couples can use to cultivate healthy conflict resolution?

7/16/2023

0 Comments

 
"Fair fight rules" are guidelines that couples can adopt to promote healthy and constructive conflict resolution. These rules create a framework for communication that encourages mutual respect, active listening, and a focus on finding resolutions rather than escalating conflicts. Here are some "fair fight rules" couples can incorporate:

  1. Use "I" Statements: Express your feelings and needs using "I" statements rather than attacking or blaming your partner. For example, say, "I feel hurt when you interrupt me" instead of "You always interrupt me and never listen."

  2. Practice Active Listening: Give your full attention to your partner when they are speaking. Avoid interrupting, and show empathy by paraphrasing their words or asking clarifying questions. Repeat back what you heard to ensure understanding.

  3. Take Turns Speaking: Create space for both partners to express their thoughts and feelings. Take turns speaking and actively listen without interruption. This allows for open and respectful dialogue, preventing a one-sided or heated exchange.

  4. No Name-Calling or Insults: Avoid using derogatory language, insults, or name-calling during conflicts. These behaviors escalate tensions and damage the trust and respect within the relationship.

  5. Focus on the Issue, Not the Person: Keep the discussion centered on the specific issue at hand rather than attacking the character or personality of your partner. Separate the behavior or action from the person, allowing for a more constructive conversation.

  6. Take Responsibility for Your Actions: Acknowledge your role in the conflict and take responsibility for any mistakes or miscommunications. Apologize when necessary and work towards finding a resolution together.

  7. Time-Outs for Calm Down: If emotions run high and the discussion becomes heated, agree to take a break or a "time-out" to cool down and regain composure. Set a specific time to reconvene and continue the conversation in a more constructive manner.

  8. Seek Compromise and Win-Win Solutions: Approach conflicts with a mindset of finding a resolution that benefits both partners. Look for compromises and win-win solutions that meet the needs of both individuals rather than seeking to "win" the argument.

  9. Use "We" Language: Emphasize the idea of being a team and working together to resolve conflicts. Use "we" language to promote a sense of unity and collaboration. For example, say, "How can we find a solution that works for both of us?" instead of "You need to do what I want."

  10. Practice Emotional Regulation: Learn to manage your emotions during conflicts. Take deep breaths, use self-soothing techniques, and communicate assertively rather than aggressively. Avoid letting anger or frustration control your responses.

Remember, implementing "fair fight rules" requires both partners' commitment and effort. Regular practice and open communication can help couples create a safe and respectful environment for resolving conflicts and strengthening their relationship.
0 Comments

What are some practical tools I can utilize when I'm overwhelmed with anxiety?

7/16/2023

0 Comments

 
Picture
When feeling overwhelmed with anxiety, practicing mindfulness can be a helpful tool for grounding yourself in the present moment and managing distress. Here are some specific mindfulness skills you can utilize:

  1. Deep Breathing: Focus on your breath as it enters and leaves your body. Take slow, deep breaths, feeling your abdomen rise and fall with each inhale and exhale. This simple technique can help calm your nervous system and bring your attention to the present moment.

  2. Body Scan: Close your eyes and bring your attention to different parts of your body, starting from your toes and gradually moving up to your head. Notice any sensations, tensions, or areas of discomfort without judgment. The body scan helps you connect with your physical experience, promoting relaxation and awareness.

  3. Grounding Techniques: Engage your senses to anchor yourself in the present. Notice five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This exercise helps redirect your attention away from anxious thoughts and into the immediate environment.

  4. Mindful Observation: Choose an object in your surroundings and observe it closely. Pay attention to its color, shape, texture, and any other details. Engage all your senses in this observation, fully immersing yourself in the present moment and redirecting your focus away from anxious thoughts.

  5. Nonjudgmental Awareness: Practice observing your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations without judgment. Allow them to come and go, acknowledging their presence without getting caught up in their content or evaluating them as good or bad. Cultivate a compassionate and accepting stance toward your experiences.

  6. Self-Compassion: Offer yourself kindness and understanding when anxiety arises. Acknowledge that anxiety is a normal human experience. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would extend to a friend facing similar difficulties. Remind yourself that you are doing your best in managing anxiety.

  7. Mindful Movement: Engage in mindful movement practices such as yoga, tai chi, or walking meditation. Pay attention to the sensations, movements, and breath as you engage in these activities. They can help promote relaxation, body awareness, and a sense of grounding.
    ​

Remember that mindfulness is a skill that takes practice. Start by incorporating these techniques into your daily routine, even when you are not feeling overwhelmed. Over time, with consistent practice, you can strengthen your ability to utilize mindfulness skills effectively during moments of anxiety. If anxiety persists or significantly interferes with your daily functioning, consider seeking support from a mental health professional for additional guidance and assistance.
0 Comments

What are the benefits of Christian integration and mental health counseling?

7/14/2023

0 Comments

 
Picture
Christian integration in mental health counseling refers to the incorporation of Christian principles, values, and beliefs into the therapeutic process. It recognizes the importance of spirituality and faith as integral aspects of an individual's well-being. Here are some potential benefits of Christian integration in mental health counseling:

  1. Holistic Approach: Christian integration in counseling acknowledges the interconnectedness of an individual's mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual aspects. It recognizes that addressing spiritual concerns and incorporating faith can contribute to overall healing and well-being.

  2. Meaning and Purpose: Christianity provides a framework for understanding life's purpose, meaning, and values. By integrating Christian principles into counseling, individuals can explore and align their beliefs with their personal goals, finding guidance and direction in their journey toward mental health and personal growth.

  3. Supportive Community: Christian integration in counseling can foster a sense of belonging and provide access to a supportive community. Engaging with like-minded individuals who share faith and values can offer encouragement, understanding, and opportunities for spiritual growth.

  4. Moral and Ethical Guidance: Christian integration in counseling can help individuals navigate ethical dilemmas and make decisions aligned with their Christian values. It can provide a moral compass and support individuals in living a life consistent with their beliefs, contributing to a sense of integrity and personal fulfillment.

  5. Coping and Resilience: Christian integration can provide individuals with a source of hope, comfort, and strength during times of adversity. Drawing on biblical teachings and faith-based resources, individuals can develop coping strategies, resilience, and inner peace when facing challenges and setbacks.

  6. Forgiveness and Healing: Christianity places emphasis on forgiveness, both of oneself and others. Integrating Christian principles in counseling can facilitate the healing process by exploring forgiveness, reconciliation, and letting go of resentment or guilt, leading to emotional healing and restored relationships.

  7. Integration of Faith and Mental Health: For individuals with a strong Christian faith, the integration of their religious beliefs with mental health counseling can create a sense of coherence and harmony. It allows them to reconcile their spiritual beliefs with the therapeutic process, enabling a more comprehensive approach to their mental health and well-being.

It's important to note that the benefits of Christian integration in mental health counseling may vary depending on an individual's personal beliefs, values, and the therapist's approach. It is crucial to find a mental health professional who is trained and experienced in Christian integration and whose approach aligns with the individual's preferences and needs.

Ultimately, Christian integration in mental health counseling offers an opportunity for individuals to explore the intersection of their faith and mental well-being, seeking a deeper understanding of themselves and finding support within their spiritual framework.
0 Comments

Is it unethical to allow parents to schedule counseling appointments for adult children?

7/14/2023

0 Comments

 
Picture
In most cases, it is considered unethical for a mental health professional to allow parents to schedule counseling appointments for their adult children without a signed release of information. Here's why:
  1. Confidentiality and Privacy: Mental health professionals have a duty to protect their clients' confidentiality and privacy. Without a signed release of information, therapists are bound by legal and ethical obligations to maintain the privacy of their adult clients and keep their therapeutic sessions confidential.
  2. Autonomy and Informed Consent: Adult clients have the right to make decisions about their own mental health care. Involving parents in the counseling process without the client's consent undermines their autonomy and right to self-determination. It is crucial for the client to actively participate in their therapy and have a say in who has access to their confidential information.
  3. Trust and Therapeutic Alliance: Building a trusting and therapeutic alliance between the client and therapist is essential for effective counseling outcomes. When parents schedule appointments without the client's involvement, it can compromise the trust and rapport that needs to be established between the client and therapist. It may create a sense of intrusion or violation of boundaries, which can hinder the therapeutic process.
  4. Legal and Ethical Considerations: Mental health professionals are bound by professional codes of ethics and legal regulations that govern their practice. These guidelines emphasize the importance of confidentiality, informed consent, and respecting the autonomy of adult clients. Allowing parents to schedule appointments without proper consent violates these ethical and legal obligations.
However, there may be exceptions to this general rule in certain circumstances, such as when the client has a legal guardian, when there are safety concerns, or if the client specifically requests parental involvement. These situations would typically require appropriate documentation, legal consent, or a discussion between the client, therapist, and potentially, legal professionals.
It is important for mental health professionals to carefully navigate these ethical and legal considerations and prioritize the well-being, autonomy, and confidentiality of their adult clients.

What does a counseling release of information allow parents of adult children to do on their behalf?

A counseling release of information, also known as a consent form or a HIPAA release, allows parents of adult children to access certain information and be involved in their child's counseling process. The specific permissions and limitations granted through a release of information can vary depending on the content of the form and the laws of the jurisdiction. Here are some common aspects typically covered by a release of information:
  1. Communication with the Counselor: A release of information allows parents to communicate directly with their adult child's counselor. This can include discussing the client's treatment progress, sharing relevant information, and asking questions about the counseling process.
  2. Access to Records: With a signed release of information, parents may have access to their adult child's counseling records, which may include intake forms, treatment plans, progress notes, and other relevant documents. This allows parents to stay informed about their child's therapy and the issues being addressed.
  3. Involvement in Treatment Decisions: Depending on the extent of the release, parents may be able to participate in treatment decisions, such as being included in discussions about goals, treatment approaches, and potential interventions. This involvement can help parents provide support and contribute to their adult child's mental health care.
  4. Financial Matters: In some cases, a release of information may include consent for parents to handle financial matters related to their adult child's counseling. This could involve billing, insurance claims, or other financial aspects of treatment.
NOTE: It's important to note that the release of information typically has limitations. For example, the form may specify a time frame during which the release is valid or limit the information shared to specific topics or providers. The exact details and permissions granted are typically discussed and agreed upon between the client, their parents (if applicable), and the therapist or counseling agency.
It's crucial to consult with the therapist or counseling agency regarding their specific policies and procedures for releases of information, as they may have additional requirements or limitations based on legal and ethical guidelines. Ultimately, the release of information allows parents to be involved in their adult child's counseling process within the boundaries agreed upon by all parties involved.

If you have any questions regarding this specific issue, do not hesitate to contact Hayne Steen at [email protected]. 


0 Comments

Exploring the Transformative Power of EMDR Therapy: A Pathway to Mental Health Healing

7/14/2023

0 Comments

 
Picture
In recent years, the importance of mental health has garnered significant attention, with a growing number of people seeking effective and innovative therapies to overcome emotional traumas and psychological challenges. One such therapeutic approach that has gained prominence is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. Developed in the late 1980s, EMDR has emerged as a powerful technique for addressing various mental health conditions, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety disorders, and depression. In this blog post, we will delve into the mental health benefits of EMDR therapy and explore how this unique approach can facilitate healing and personal growth.

Understanding EMDR Therapy:

EMDR therapy is an integrative psychotherapy model that combines elements of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), neuroscience, and bilateral stimulation to help individuals process and resolve traumatic experiences and distressing memories. The approach was initially developed by Francine Shapiro, who observed the natural healing potential of eye movements in reducing the intensity of negative emotions associated with traumatic memories.

The Therapy Process:

During an EMDR session, a trained therapist guides the individual through a structured series of steps that involve recalling distressing memories or triggering events while simultaneously engaging in bilateral stimulation techniques. This can include eye movements, taps, or auditory cues. These bilateral stimulations are thought to facilitate the reprocessing of traumatic memories and promote adaptive information processing within the brain.

​Mental Health Benefits of EMDR Therapy:
  1. Effective Treatment for PTSD: EMDR therapy has been extensively researched and recognized as an evidence-based treatment for PTSD. Studies have shown that EMDR can significantly reduce the symptoms of PTSD, such as intrusive thoughts, nightmares, and emotional distress. By reprocessing traumatic memories, EMDR allows individuals to develop a healthier perspective and integrate the traumatic experiences into their overall life narrative.
  2. Resolving Anxiety Disorders: Anxiety disorders, including panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and social anxiety disorder, often stem from unresolved traumatic experiences. EMDR therapy helps individuals process the root causes of their anxiety, reducing the intensity of triggering stimuli and promoting emotional resilience. It enables individuals to confront their fears, reframe negative beliefs, and cultivate a sense of empowerment and self-efficacy.
  3. Overcoming Depression: EMDR therapy can be a valuable tool in the treatment of depression, particularly when it is related to past traumatic events or negative life experiences. By targeting the underlying traumas, EMDR assists individuals in reframing negative beliefs, rebuilding self-esteem, and fostering emotional healing. Through the reprocessing of distressing memories, individuals can develop a renewed sense of hope, purpose, and motivation.
  4. Enhancing Self-Insight and Empowerment: EMDR therapy not only focuses on symptom reduction but also facilitates personal growth and self-discovery. The therapeutic process often uncovers deep-rooted beliefs and patterns that contribute to emotional distress. By examining and reevaluating these beliefs, individuals gain insight into their own thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. This increased self-awareness empowers individuals to make positive changes, develop healthier coping mechanisms, and cultivate a more fulfilling life.
  5. Rapid Results and Lasting Effects: EMDR therapy is often praised for its efficiency and effectiveness. Compared to traditional talk therapies, EMDR can produce rapid results in a relatively short period. Furthermore, the positive effects of EMDR are generally long-lasting, with many individuals experiencing sustained improvement even after completing therapy. This makes EMDR an attractive option for those seeking transformative and lasting changes in their mental well-being.
EMDR therapy offers a promising pathway to mental health healing, allowing individuals to process traumatic experiences, reduce distressing symptoms, and cultivate resilience and empowerment. By harnessing the brain's innate capacity for adaptive information processing, EMDR therapy enables individuals to release the grip of past traumas and embrace a more hopeful and fulfilling future. If you are struggling with the aftermath of trauma or seeking personal growth, EMDR therapy may be a valuable tool in your journey toward mental health and well-being. Remember, seeking the guidance of a trained and licensed EMDR therapist is essential to ensure a safe and effective therapeutic experience.

If you'd like to explore meeting with an EMDR therapist at Elbow Tree, email us at [email protected] or call us at (904) 559-1944. 


0 Comments

The Therapeutic Benefits of Surfing

6/1/2023

0 Comments

 
Picture
Surfing, the popular water sport, offers numerous mental health benefits. Here are some of the positive impacts it can have on mental well-being:
​
  1. Stress Reduction: Surfing provides an opportunity to disconnect from daily stressors and immerse oneself in the present moment. The combination of physical activity, rhythmic movements, and the calming effect of the ocean can reduce stress levels and promote relaxation.

  2. Increased Mindfulness: Surfing requires focused attention on the present moment, including reading waves, balancing on the board, and navigating the ocean. Engaging in this mindful awareness can help quiet the mind, improve concentration, and promote a sense of clarity and mental calmness.

  3. Mood Enhancement: The physical activity and exposure to natural elements while surfing can stimulate the release of endorphins and other mood-boosting neurotransmitters. This can lead to a sense of euphoria, increased happiness, and an overall uplift in mood.

  4. Connection with Nature: Surfing allows individuals to connect with the beauty and power of nature. Being in the water, feeling the sun on the skin, and hearing the sound of crashing waves can create a sense of awe and serenity, promoting a deeper connection to the natural world.

  5. Mind-Body Integration: Surfing involves coordinating physical movements with the rhythm of the waves. This integration of mind and body fosters a sense of flow and harmony, enhancing body awareness, balance, and coordination. It can contribute to an overall sense of well-being and self-confidence.

  6. Social Support and Community: Surfing often creates a sense of camaraderie and community among surfers. Engaging in the sport with others can lead to meaningful connections, social support, and a sense of belonging. The shared experiences and common passion for surfing can foster friendships and a supportive network.

  7. Resilience and Mental Strength: Surfing challenges individuals to face fears, overcome obstacles, and adapt to changing conditions. The process of learning and improving in surfing builds resilience, self-efficacy, and mental toughness. It can enhance one's ability to cope with adversity and develop a growth mindset.

  8. Mental Relaxation and Escape: The combination of being in the water, engaging in physical activity, and focusing on the waves allows individuals to experience a mental break from daily concerns and pressures. Surfing can provide a sense of escape and rejuvenation, offering a temporary respite from the demands of everyday life.
    ​
It's important to note that while surfing can offer mental health benefits, it is not a substitute for professional mental health care. If individuals are struggling with significant mental health issues, it is recommended to seek guidance from qualified mental health professionals.
0 Comments
<<Previous

    ELBOW TREE

    Archives

    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    February 2022
    December 2021
    February 2021
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    March 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017

    Categories

    All
    Appointment
    Attachment
    Being Known
    Character
    Community
    Connection
    Couples
    Emotion
    Empathy
    Endurance
    Failure
    Formation
    Heart
    Hope
    Loneliness
    Marriage
    Men
    Pain
    Perseverence
    Rapport
    Recovery
    Referral
    Resilience
    Schedule
    Therapists
    Therapy
    Trust
    Warmth

    RSS Feed

Picture
St. Augustine Office
Picture

​ST. AUGUSTINE OFFICE
​
 
38 South Dixie Highway
Saint Augustine, FL 32084​


JACKSONVILLE BEACH OFFICE
​ 408 4th Street North
Jacksonville Beach, FL 32250





​MAIN LINE • (904) 559-1944
EMAIL  • [email protected]

Picture
Jacksonville Beach Office
*Elbow Tree Christian Counseling, LLC in St. Augustine and Jacksonville Beach is independently owned and operated. 

Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture