​I recently received an email from a young woman interested in exploring Christian Counseling as her calling and profession. Here are the six questions she asked me that I really needed to be asked. 

1. What steps did you have to make to get to where you are? What colleges did you go to and what degrees did you get?

I went to Flagler College, studied English and Youth Ministry, which were both infused with professors and students who were deeply interested in spiritual formation and human flourishing.Before attending graduate school, my wife and I were on staff with Young Life and the local church for 20 years. During countless hours of one on one appointments with students or parents, I consistently found myself addressing family situations with them such as dealing with a parent’s divorce, sexual abuse, facing family wounds from the past that had never healed, dating, marriage, etc. Seeing these needs, I sensed a calling to pursue advanced psychological studies and devote my life to helping people conquer life issues. In 2011, I received my Master of Arts degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Richmont Graduate University. Over the past 20 years (in youth ministry and in private practice), I have counseled individuals, children, adolescents, families and couples with a variety of presenting issues pastorally and as a lay counselor. For over eight years, my work with ETCC has involved these, as well as other types of presenting issues. 

Bachelors Degree + Graduate School + 3000 supervised counseling hours + National Mental Health Counselor Examination (NMHCE) + a handful of Florida Board of Health requirements = Licensure as Licensed Mental Health Counselor 

2. How many years did it take for you to get there? 

I started graduate school in September 2007 and graduated in May 2011. It took four years because I was also working full time as a Youth Minister at a large church in Chattanooga, TN. I elected to remain in weekly post-gardaute supervision for 5 years ($75 per week) while in private practice. When I moved to Florida in summer of 2017, I hit the ground running and prepared for the NMHCE, passed it, handled a number of state requirements and received my Florida license in April 2018. Florida was generous to receive all of my work in Tennessee as eligible work toward my FL license. 

I started seeing clients in my 4th year of grad school, but my Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy was 97 hours where the Professional Counseling degree was 66. In that last year of school you would begin seeing clients as a graduate intern. Right now I have 3 graduate interns seeing clients earning hours toward their degrees. 

*Clarification: You can move through a graduate counseling program in mental health counseling full time in 2 years. You'll have a minimum of 2 years of supervision beyond graduation which then can lead to licensure. So, four years if you aggressive and do not have an other irons in the fire. 

3. What's the hardest part(s) of your job?

There are a number of challenging parts to the job.

One is the learning curve to discern what clients are in your wheelhouse and which ones are not. Learning to refer to qualified colleagues becomes a wonderful way to grow your network, develop some partnerships and cultivate a referral base (both give and receiving). 

Another dimension is definitely financial. Launching a private practice takes time, which also means it takes some money. I launched Elbow Tree last fall in August and it has been my all consuming focus, even when I was not making money for my time. Thankfully I embedded in with my best friend in his practice in the early stages of when he launched Elbow Tree in Chattanooga. I still had to learn all the in’s and out’s of launching a private practice from basic bookkeeping, marketing, networking, while also continuing to sharpen my therapeutic skill beyond graduation. Being in a counseling practice that cultivates competent and compassionate emerging counselors is something I desired and am hoping to cultivate here in St. Augustine. 

One other dimension could be loneliness. So much of your day as a therapist is spent with clients and many therapists report feeling lonely in the work as so many are hanging a shingle as a solo practitioner. That is another dimension to why I launched Elbow Tree here. I need community and wanted to be able to choose who I surround myself with. Our counseling team is a wonderfully gifted and skilled community of Christian counselors who have/are continuing to hopefully be formed into Christ’s likeness in and away from our counseling work. 

Self care is every counselor’s highest need and yet, often, it can become shuffled to back of the list of priorities. I ask everyone of our counselors to describe in writing to me how they are actively cultivating their 6 month "self care plan" and we check in on that when we grab tacos or coffee together. I am chief sinner in this area and need the accountability, which I work on with a mentor in my own life. 

4. While I know it must be a hard job, do you guys enjoy it? Do you think it's worth it? 

I love it. Being trained as a Christian Counselor is a professional pivot that will prepare you to serve the world and God’s church in some specialized ways. You effectively would be preparing yourself to become a mobile missionary with a highly specialized set of skills that will serve a multidimensional target audience. I work with pastors and missionaries who are exhausted and broken to entrepreneurs who feel lost in their sense of purpose to families struggling to love one another well to deploying into 3rd world global disaster zones to offer critical incident stress management and post traumatic interventions. 

It is not for everybody. If you struggle with offering  empathy and compassion, I’d urge you away from this space into something else. If you have a hyper need to be needed then I’d recommend doing some deep inner work around that with a competent therapist. If you have good boundaries and a deep heart for walking slowly with people as people heal and begin to reorient toward flourishing, then this is the place for you. 

To speak of its worth would never be able to declare the truest and highest sense of the need and worth…the Holy Spirit refers to Itself as Comforter, Counselor and Friend…and while we are not abdicating or taking on the role of the Holy Spirit as junior holy spirits, we will most definitely image (aka look like) God most when we orient toward people with lovingkindness, gentleness, non-judgement, warmth, curiosity and empathy. It’s God’s kindness that leads us to repentance…(aka it’s God’s kindness that captures our heart, opens us up to change, walks with us into the most painful patterns we have developed and invites us to hope in the ongoing work of Christ even when our traumatic injuries tell our bodies and minds that we need that old pattern or attachment). 

5. What is the demand for Christian Counselors in today's world?

I have many friends who are amazing Christians who do not fly under the banner of Christian in their counseling practices. It’s a rigorous process to decide which you will choose in order to serve the clients you feel most called to serve.

In my work, I feel particularly called to be a beacon for the local Church and then to the surrounding community. If Christians are seeking wellness in our world they will look more like the Jesus we love and then the world will see and know the beauty of Jesus radiating in His healing community…who also invite people broken, sick and sore into their midst. Hurt people hurt people. In and out of the church. I also believe that healing people heal people…so if our church can orient toward healing and cultivating this ethos among themselves, then those outside the church may feel drawn to the depth of inner hope that would inevitably leak from the believers. So, that is why I target pastors and missionaries…caring for caregivers…if these elders among us have permission to be broken and imperfect then we too will find a safe place in them and the believers can come out of hiding and become open to vulnerability…which is the birthplace of human and heavenly innovation and change. Jesus modeled vulnerability among from the moment he was born unto His dying breath. 

The world desperately needs highly competent skilled clinicians who are dispersed into the entire work force…bringing this ethic of deep heavenly care into those paces. I moved to St. Augustine with the stated intent of opening Elbow Tree as a beacon for Christians…and I was honestly really worried that being overtly Christian would be a hindrance to the growth of my business.

There is a need for Christians to be highly skilled when caring for the multi-dimensional needs of our hurting world. Counselors are sharp instruments that God can use to serve a deeply traumatized and aching culture…to speak to the truths revealed in research and science…and the scriptures...and to operate using the best trauma informed best practices as they serve clients well. 

The need is absolutely enormous…some markets are certainly saturated. So, find a community who has an unmet need that is not being met. St. Augustine was this place for me.

6. Is the money that you are earning now sufficient for living?

Yes. It takes time so you’ll need something to float you while you get things up and running. Every person’s needs are different but I can tell you that if you are creative and patient, the Lord will use those gifts and strengths to help you provide in ways you could never imagine. 

If you’d ever like to talk more, feel free to email or call. I’m always eager to speak with interested counseling students 

If you are reading this and think you'd like to have a conversation like this, please email me at hayne@elbowtreeforida.com. 

Thank you for taking the time to watch this important short film featuring a friend of mine, John Marsh. 

John is from Opelika, Alabama. So is my dear friend, pastor and mentor, Dr. Bill Dudley. Bill was my wife's childhood pastor. He later married my wife and I, baptized all three of our children and I was blessed to serve in ministry with him during a special season of our life at Signal Mountain Presbyterian Church.  Bill Dudley was the first person I'd ever known from Opelika and he spoke of his hometown with a fondness and special appreciation I envied. 

John and I first met a couple years ago in Nashville at an artist retreat. Over the course of several days together, we were often seated together at a couple meals or on a bus traveling between historic homes and event venues around the Nashville area. 

Conversation was natural and easy. I attribute much of that to John's own transparency. The time with him marked me for sure and I've continued to savor the connection. 

Meeting John Marsh and getting to spend some impromptu time together was a real treasure. His kindness and his vision remind me of my great friend Bill, who invited me into a sweet friendship that fostered an enduring trust and vulnerability.

I can safely say that Bill Dudley has been someone who invited me to bring my weary heart to the front porch of our friendship, and together we would trust Jesus to bring healing and wholeness into the lonely places. He saw beauty where I only saw brokenness.  

These two men from Opelika have very different stories but the aim of their life's work has been dedicated to restoring broken places.  The integrity of their mission begins in the seat of their own lives. Their kindness and accessibility are incredibly disarming. Both would not take credit for work only God could accomplish.  

Earlier today, John sent me a link to this new film that features a taste of he and his wife's story. I was in tears as I watched. What a gift to individuals or couples in difficult seasons of life who are hanging on by a thread. 

"Their story as a couple mirrors the story of a city once neglected and now reclaimed. Through a vulnerable recount of their past tumult, the Marshes share how healing in their broken lives became their inspiration to bring hope to others.  

John and Ashley Marsh are the proprietors of The Marsh Collective, a conglomerate of business ventures dedicated to resurrecting the city of Opelika, Alabama." 

If you are inclined, please pass this along to a friend who you think might appreciate watching this. Trust me, John and his wife are the real deal. They are living proof that we are loved beyond any measure of performance or attempt at perfection. 

May you also sense the kindness of God through the kindness and tenderness of my friend John. 

Thank you John and Ashley for sharing your story. And for your vision to bring healing and wholeness to communities and cities!

by ​Louise Osborn, LMHC

I have talked before about the dangers of leaving a mask on too long. Today I would like to talk about the many different masks survivors wear, the reasons we wear them and the danger of becoming too attached to the mask.

There are many different reasons events that could make a person adopt a mask, but the underlying reason is the same.  “Fear”!  Fear of appearing to be a failure, fear of someone finding out your past, fear of looking weak or emotional.  But fear is a dangerous bedfellow and can easily make you lose yourself altogether.

Those very things in our past, the hurts and insecurities are begging for release and releasing them leads to freedom. The first step to removing the mask is realizing what mask you wear most.  The people pleaser? I have to do everything for everyone or they won’t like me.  I will put him first and he will love me. Or maybe its the perfectionist? I must stay in control and do everything right. I crave help but I am afraid to ask or accept it.  The I must be attractive all the time mask? If I must be beautiful to be worthy of love. There are of course others. The approval mask or the performer, and many wear different masks at different times or even multiple masks. Doesn’t it get tiring?

To begin to take off the masks though, we must face our past hurts, traumas and experiences and discover how they came to be.  Maybe it goes back to winning a parents approval as a child,  a negative relationship or a traumatic experience.  I will acknowledge that for me this exercise helped me to realize how many masks I wear and how they have led to more negative experiences that in turn created new masks. It has been eye opening to realize how many I still wear and how they have piled up.

I have also realized how much of my true self and beauty is hidden and how revealing it can lead to true contentment.  To not be afraid to speak up about something you feel is unfair, to allow someone to see your weaknesses, to accept help from someone or actually trust another person.  In order to accomplish any of these we must learn to remove the mask and trust that everything will be ok.  That the people that truly love us can handle it and those that don’t we don’t need in our lives anyway.  That God does have a plan for us but by wearing the mask we are hiding our potential to live out his plan.

So how do we learn to take off the mask?  Although everyone is different, my suggestion is that you first identify your masks and the events that caused it.  Then, as hard as it sounds, you face your negative experiences, fears and traumas and you forgive and continually forgive anyone that harmed you.  Lastly you put your faith fully in Gods plan for you.  Lean on him and his words for comfort and strength.  And if you still struggle, reach out to someone.  A therapist, friend or family member and let them know what you are struggling with, what masks you wear and why.  Voicing your story is difficult but cleansing at the same time, and it may help someone else you know take off their mask.

Recently, I was contacted by a marketing company inviting me to host my own radio show to reach a global audience. What ensued was a well-designed invitation for me to make a small investment of $7,000 into my own training and marketing of the first pilot season of the radio show. They would even train me and help produce the show! 

This was my Facebook post that day: ​

by ​Louise Osborn, LMHC

I woke up one morning recently with that odd mix of irritation, sadness and confusion. Nothing had happened, so why was I in such a funk? More importantly, how was I going to break it. I started with exploring the obvious. We traveled for Thanksgiving and came straight back to the grind of the week so the house wasn’t in order. That tends to make me feel out of sorts so I organized the kids room and front porch, threw out some things, took others to charity. Doing for others always makes you feel better right? And it did……but not like it usually does…..I was still off.

I decided to begin the Christmas season by doing some decorating. Maybe that would help, but first I had to go get some new things. It was the music in Lowe’s, honestly, that did it. It brought everything flying back into my mind so clearly that I was shocked I hadn’t realized it when I first woke up that day.  It was almost December. Friday would be December 1st, in fact.

I’ve had 6 miscarriages. All but 2 have been in December. The last two were the furthest along. The last one was by far, the most traumatic which was in late December and thus mentally, it is intrinsically linked to Christmas music. 

I am learning that its not just the music. Its the season.

During the last miscarriage, I was under so much pressure to perform as if nothing was wrong. We had three other children that I wanted to provide a good Christmas for (one a one year old) and my in laws were going to be in town staying with us. Unfortunately, due to the other miscarriages, we elected to keep this pregnancy a secret planning to reveal it at Christmas, which put me over 12 weeks and in the safety zone.

We were pregnant with twins!

The week prior to Christmas, at my 13 week mark, I went for my check up and my doctor failed to find one of the heartbeats. I was devastated. The week before we had two heartbeats. He consoled me, prayed with me and told me to come back the day before my in-laws landed. I did and learned we lost the other child. I endured the week of their visit in a blur of hiding, crying in my room and probably more alcohol than is healthy. I had surgery the day after they left on New Years Eve. The hospital played Christmas music  and my in-laws never even knew I was pregnant.

I have since more than made my peace with God.  Now I understand why I went through what I went through and I love my son Matthew (our youngest, born the day before Thanksgiving the following year) so much that I can’t even contemplate him not being in our family.

8 years later, Christmas music still makes me cry.
​
The body always remembers grief and makes you acknowledge it, no matter how hard you try to move on. Outside of the mother who loses her baby, no one else really acknowledges a lost pregnancy. It really is a lonely grief, especially years out. I have learned, though, that taking a few minutes to look at those old sonogram pictures tends to keep the grief at bay for another year.

If you are in need of some grief counseling, Louise Osborn is available to take appointments in both the Julington Creek area or in our Elbow Tree office located in Saint Augustine. Her email is louise@elbowtreecooperative.com.